mostlyvacant | (no subject)

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I want him to know that I'm interested. I really want him to know that we could ... we could try this. I like him. I really like him. He's so bright, and happy like me. He loves to have fun, and his fun is my fun. He's not a stranger Tarmon is forcing me to marry ... Ayden isn't a first son, but that doesn't matter to me. Not at all! And we're always happy wehen we're together. I don't know how he could be from the same family as Ferguson.

... I don't know how Tarmon and I are from the same family.

I just wish I felt comfortable ... pushing. Something has to happen before the Festival. It's going to happen so soon, and he's going to be gone! I can't admit my feelings by letter, it's just not ... right. He's not going to forget me when he goes back home, but I don't want him to think I'm just a friend! This ... this is my chance to win. Like Philippa did. I really want to grab this one chance, and never let go. I don't have to be a princess for Ayden. And I don't have to be a ... a ... a bitch.

Something... I have to do something.