Lady Francisca of Emeron

It's been a week, has it gotten there yet, Martha? Oh, I hope it went with the right rider. I heard one of them likes to spend an extra day in the woods, and it's been a really rainy spring, and I really hope the package doesn't get too wet. I didn't think to put it in oil cloth because I'm so used to to the winter being longer, but it's really, and the wives are saying it's going to be even more humid without Megam there anymore.

Oooh, I hope it's alright! I was so careful not to let any of the ink on the drawn patterns run when I was drawing it up, and I don't want it to turn up in Eblar in a soaked mess!

Some of the women have been talking about the chapels over the past few weeks. I thought ... I thought it might change. The things they were saying. The problems they're talking about are the kind I can't help with. A couple of them are even talking about moving to Emeron to get to where everyone is saying it's better.

Oh ... I guess I should say what I'm talking about! Ever since Megam ... well, there's a lot of questions! There's a lot of talk about the heralds, and where they were last seen. There's a lot of talk about Suaimeas and Crionna, and when they're going to show up to put Dentoria to rights. I don't like any of it. It's not ... the Dragon Church. It's just not.

I keep hearing about how impressed everyone is with the things happening in Emeron right now, keeping the faith strong! I wish that could be happening here too. Even the Megami here are so divided, I hear ...

[Filter: Private]

SHUT UP!!!!

[Filter: Public]

I think I'm getting even busier than before! Lady Emilia asked me if I wanted to help organize some relief bundles for the surviving farmers in Allba. The ones on the outer edges ... I told her I would. She'd heard about what I did in Emeron, and she needed help.

Two other women came by, but I'm not really sure I want to get involved in those projects. But this one sounds really good, and it could be really helpful. And ... I'm good at it!

[Filter: Private]

Glenn's here now, and Canti's safe with him.

...

I am such a horrible person, diary. I am. Do you know what my first thought was when they said that Megam doesn't exist anymore? "Good!" Whose first thought is 'good' when so many lives have been cut short?! I don't care how strong my voices are, they shouldn't ... they shouldn't rule me like that. So that Messenger died. Millions of other died with him and that's just so ... it's just so terrifying! And terrible!

Canti was right about me. What I've done ...

All I wanted was an anchor, diary! I swear! I just needed someone, anyone to say "no, Friska, you're being an idiot, you can't go to Lucre!" And ... and I was already here for Canti! She's the only reason I'm here, and she's too innocent to be part of this at all! I knew she could never betray me.

I didn't mean to ruin everything, diary, I swear I didn't. It's been so hard since Father died. He was so much better at this than I am, and I could talk to him. I could talk about compulsions, and how he learned to deal with them.

I'm so sorry that Megam is gone, and I'm so sorry that I can barely talk to Canti anymore, and I'm so sorry that even though my voices tell me to go to Rhia I can't because it just hurts too much to do anything now, and I can't tell Ayden because I just can't I can't take how he'd look at me if he knew or if the worst was possible because he could kill me so easily, and my birthday and my wedding anniversary are so close oh why did they have to be the same day and why are the so close, and ...

I hurt so much, diary.

It's so strange that horse racing isn't as popular here as it is in Emeron! There are still races, but I keep hearing that I should go see the fairs instead because they'll be more exciting. And there aren't any boat races at all!! I should've expected that, but I didn't even think.

I've heard a lot of good things about the fairs though. There are a lot more entertainers here because they don't like going to Emeron. I'm sure it will make up for it, but it's so strange!

[Filter: Martha and Canti]

Oh, this meeting just seemed so important, Martha! All of your brothers pulling you aside? I don't even want to imagine what they wanted to talk to you about if it was that important! Are you going to be courting someone? Did something happen??

I hope it's good news! I hope it's only good news!

[Filter: Canti]

Are you getting very nervous? It's only three more days until you're getting married! I remember getting butterflies even though I was too busy to think trying to get it all ready! I can't believe it's so close, and everything's falling into place so well! I can't even imagine how you're feeling.

[Filter: People staying at Lady Sophia's manor]

I didn't mean to find you, I mean, I wasn't looking for you, not that I mind finding you! I just mean that I'm not going to tell anyone I found you. My brother I mean. He really doesn't need to know that you're in Emeron. He doesn't need to know that I'm in Emeron! But you're here. And I didn't mean to barge in like this I swear! I didn't expect there to be so many guests here but ... it is you, right? The people who write here? I mean, of course you write here, but the people from Franel?

Um.

This is all a lot more strange than I expected things to go tonight!

[Filter: Private]

He's read the exchange at least fifty times now, and he still doesn't think this is going to work once it starts to cost money. He says my brother's just going to take one look at the proposal and throw it out. I know there is a way to make it work though. And if it works it gives him something towork toward, and he'll make a lot of people happy with it, and if it opens up new farmland then even if Tarmon still hates him, the people will like him?

With ... with everything that is happening to the Emeron, I think it really is a time for change.

[Filter: Lady Isanae]

Um, I know you're probably busy with all the things that the King just announced, and preparing for the news to officially reach us here ... I just wanted to give you some notice about my plans! Do you have some time?

[Filter: Canti and Martha]

Are you two still alright? I know Lord Glenn's done his best to protect you both, but Tarmon's always had a way of ruining everything, and I really, really hope you're so far ahead of him that there's no chance at all that he'll find you, and you're going to get to Eblar and have a chance to hide ...

Ugh, this is terrible, I wish I was right there with you so I could know, and not be worried about you constantly! I don't even know what he'll do ...