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It feels so weird... Not going to the kitchens at all today. I always cooked for Daddy. I could always rely on having him here for this... I always knew he appreciated it! I've never really had a boy in my life to even compete. I thought ... I thought I had years to go before I found myself like this. I'm not ready to move on yet... I just know the ladies are all going to say something about it too, but I just can't.

And I know for a fact that not all of them can participate either! So... I'll take it this year. I'll take it, and I'll just try to be in a better place next year. The knights should be home by then, right, diary? Yes, it can't take that much longer...

I'll just ... be ready for that. it's just one more thing that I need to do for myself now! That's all. Just one more thing.